I have seen so many day xx coronavirus diaries but I can’t continue to measure day-by-day anymore. It simply takes too long. Who would ever think that I would have wanted my life to speed on by, wishing each days hours away? How do I live in the reality of today while I keep the dream alive of tomorrow? I write this because I know it’s what we all are going through.
What has this epidemic taken away from me? Belief and my dream. I was so cocksure about our future and goals and this perfect life that was in our hands - so close I could taste it. And then life happened, as it does. For Kevin and I sharing one dream, one adventure, we can only live one way. We are driven by action to get up each day with a target of fun and life. We crave making the most of every day and for us trapped in lock-down is really soul destroying.
So here I relive the dream not for you but me; I need to get it out of my heart and into words. To keep the vision alive in a time of powerlessness in the situation.
We aimed to be on our catamaran with our house sold and to begin cruising the Mediterranean 1 June 2020. It’s the 16th of April and we are a month and a half away with no flights and locked down borders. No matter how positive I am I have no influence over my life. That has been taken away from us. Our beautiful house in Cape Town now stands lonely and empty as no one is buying, no one is renting and our Airbnb’s have been cancelled.
We have this absolutely exceptional catamaran sitting in a marina in Brac, Croatia waiting patiently for us while we are trapped in a city very far away. Our container shipment, that should have arrived by now, is sitting in storage in South Africa going nowhere fast. My vast wardrobe that Kevin and I packed into our one shared suitcase we brought is displaying exactly how minimalist I have become.
I want to scream and pack my stuff, yes the one suitcase.
I want to jump on a train, head to the airport and fly to Croatia - the country that drew us strongly enough to want to give up our lives and sacrifice our home, our security, our precious family so that we could brave the world to live differently and survive on the ocean, embracing the unpredictable and discover new adventures daily.
My restless soul is crying out for a glimpse of when this will happen and we will all begin to control our lives again.
While I am sharing this with you it is primarily for myself. These thoughts and photos are my attempt to once again see a future and bring me back some hope and excitement. I need this to hold on to the dream and to not let the situation take it away from me. I hope you are doing the same in your lives, this is how we survive. I guess it’s ok to feel down and hopeless as our control has been taken from us and our lives are dictated to by others, who we trust have to know better.
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